I am a black knitter who is currently struggling to knit. What does me being black have to do with me knitting, is that your question? My answer is EVERYTHING!
It has been 10 or more days since I clicked on a video and watched a black man murdered. It has been 10 or more days and once again I a reminded that my skin color is justification for murder. You all know that usually my knitting is my refuge and right now..it’s not!
I have been glued to whatever news I can find. I can’t relax because did I really just watch a man die? Nope knitting is the least of my concerns.
I keep wanting a factory reset. I want to throwback to a time when I could easily “just knit”. Can we all just knit? NO! I can’t, not when I worry about my people, not when there is an overall disregard for black lives. I canNOT “just knit”!
When I see someone say “can we just knit” I flinch because they just slapped me in the face. They just said “GG if you are not behaving (just knitting) I can’t be bothered”. They are saying “GG your cries are interrupting my knitting..” That hurts.
All of my life the color of my skin puts me at the back of the line. My skin color says I don’t belong. So to watch a man murdered on video simply because he was not white is a distraction at minimum. I read someone say let’s escape. I can’t and never have….going on 54 years.
I am still an outsider making my way in this fiber community. The color of my skin still makes folks pause. I still have to remind people that “We Knit Too!” So yea, no I can’t just knit.
If you are following me on Instagram you will know that I am partnered with Kristi the owner of Birdie Parker Designs. We are working to raise money for Black Lives Matter. Because despite what some might feel or think. OUR LIVES MATTER TODAY AND ALWAYS!
Stand in the Gap
๐๐
Sending you hugs. We will continue to feel this way until the injustice stops because we know there will continue to be other murders.
Thank you, GG, well said.
Thank you!
Love you and how you craft words into such powerful messages. I will always be #standinginthegap for you and all black people.
Thank you!
I’m in tears right now. You are so admired. You are so encouraging. You are so joyful. And you are so very very sad. I have a very richly diverse family and I know (being white) that I still cannot feel the depth of your sorrow and hurt, but I believe it. I believe my son-in-law, my niece, my cousins, and my friends and their children. Anything I say will be just a drop of encouragement, but I really want to tell you. There are evil people who believe and act as though you have no value, but though they have this horrible impact, there are so many more of us who see you, who value you, who respect you. Boy, I hope this is not coming across trite. I’m not the wordsmith that I am discovering that you are. The systemic change we are looking for will not be achieved only by changes in laws, regulations, trainings and prosecutions. It will take a systemic change in the values and hearts and hope of all people. I am a believer in prayer, I believe that people can change. I am just not understanding why it is taking so very long.
Thank you for reading
It is a pleasure and privilege to read your words. I am glad you are here.
Hello GG,
After reading your many posts and trying to understand the goal, I have to voice my opinion to you. It breaks my heart that the color of a human being’s skin has been used to push an agenda that seeks to divide us further. There is NO justification for Mr. Floyd’s death-no defense, no excuse. This same holds true for Mr. David Dorn who was murdered by looters who stole a TV from his pawn shop. I also don’t believe there is an ‘overall disregard for Black lives’ and people are killed by police due to skin color. I just wish the Black Lives Matter organization cared about ALL Black lives. Unfortunately, until the violence and looting are condemned, I’m afraid the goal of equality and safety for all will remain out of our reach. I am very sad that I must pull away from social media and the current climate there. We are all God’s children and caring for each other as we are commanded starts from a point of love. I love you but continuing the false narrative is unacceptable to me.
Hi Lori! The narrative is false to you. Good day
Did you see the murder of Mr. Floyd? If you could just listen and not justify that would help. Are you saying God has favorites? No that’s man picking winners and loosers…so tell me why Black people are usually the losers.
I’m listening GG, I’m listening . . .
Thank you
Hi GG,
I have been watching your pain. Today I stood firmly in the gap. I have been aware of my own white privileged and sought out black and brown crafters to follow. Youโve heard from me before (chaoticknitter). I will continue to do the wor, read on my own, and seek to engage where I can. I havenโt been knitting either, because I too saw the video. I have been pissed since Colin Kapernick wasnโt allowed to kneel in peaceful protest. There is an overall disregard for black bodies. I see you, I hear you, and I will do the work on my own. Peace to you and Shelby as you navigate these troubling days.
Steph
Thank you!
Hiiiii GG
I felt this so much! The things I used to fall back on ainโt doing it right now. Praying for your peace ๐ thank you for this post!!!
Whitney!! Thank you!
I hear you & feel your heart so deeply. I havenโt really touched my stitching since quarantine happened & it holds zero appeal to me now. Thereโs so much I want to listen to, read & educate myself on now that stitch work, while a great means of โescapeโ at times, just seems empty & futile while peopleโs lives are at steak. Hoping one day soon that your knitting will be able to comfort & bring you some joy again๐
Thank you for reading
Hi GG,
My comment didnโt post but I am holding you and Shelby in the light as you navigate these difficult times.
Step (chaoticknitter)
It did! I see it and responded
I hear you. It’s hard to find refuge in anything, when I know that safe refuge is so hard to come by for Black folks and other people of color. No-one is really free if everyone isn’t free. My one hope is that this current moment helps more people to see the truth of that and to act on it.
Yes that is my wish as well
Gaye – your words are powerful! To you and everyone else I say โdoesnโt everyone knitโ? But as a knitter and lover of wool there are times like NOW you canโt knit. AND, we shouldnโt knit! We should all be doing our damndest that what happened to George Floyd never happens again . It has happened to TOO MANY black men and woman. In time, you will pick up the needles and knit and reflect and dream but now isnโt that time. I HAVE no clue how being black/brown feels .. but I hope I can join you in saying NO MORE! I, no one, can walk in your shoes but I / we can stand beside you.
Thank you
Love you, and I will stand in the gap. Peace and love to you and Shelby
Thank you!
I’m in New Zealand watching this from afar and I still feel how wrong this is. We as a society in the West haven’t got this right yet, though at least the protests do have people from every walk of life which is good to see. There are still plenty of people over here who are overtly racist and many who stay quiet when they should speak up. I’m working on that last part myself, as a white woman who’s an introvert it’s hard but I feel it’s worth it. Much of what I’ve seen over here is anti-Asian or anti-Maori. The one good thing is that our police are more regulated and there are checks and balances in place. I’m praying that things really do change for the better and that it happens quickly, though with what I’m seeing on the news with police brutality I’m not sure that is a realistic hope. Know that I stand with you. Sewsable on Rav.
Thank you
After watching your video I had to come see the blog. Please excuse the simplicity of my words, but know they are offered and meant with the deepest of love… I hear you and I am here for you. Please keep speaking your truth… for many of us know it is THE TRUTH.
Thank you Helen
Thank you. My heart goes out to you.
Dear GG,
I’ve been horrified by the many recent events involving violence against Black people. And these are the ones REPORTED. There is no doubt much more going on that is NOT reported. Having grown up with integration, I would have hoped that in these modern times we would be more evolved in our attitudes toward skin color. Modern times clearly do not mean enlightened times. Please keep speaking. Keep awareness growing. I desire to be the change I want to see in the world, but sometimes I need to be shaken awake! Thank you for your posts. I stand with you.
Thank you for responding. I appreciate you
*listens*
You’re right.
*sits beside you*
Thank you
GG, thank for the vulnerability in sharing your heart and vulnerability in these times. It take such courage to step out there and share when you are already processing so much in your community. I know because I stand beside my husband as he has been processing the same. I see and hear the tiredness of having to fight for being allowed to just be yourself and my heart aches for all of you in that battle, because I can never truly know the depth of that struggle although I can stand and say that is inhumane and stand say this cannot be and sit and listen and speak up on your behalf as much as I can with my own voice to say this is not ok, this is never ok and we must do better. No, we canโt just knit. We must love and to do that, we must truly listen first. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading and taking the time comment
Dear GG, Your words resonate with me. I, too, don’t understand the mindset of anyone who could say “Can’t we knit?” Ummm, no, & hell, this isn’t “just” politics, these are lives we’re talking about! They’re gone forever & such a stupid question trying to erase black folks’ pain & fear & pretend this didn’t happen?! That kind of silliness makes me think the questioner is also putting the blame on you for not being able to retreat into knitting; after all, if she/he can, then why can’t you? Baahhhh, while I’m not black & can’t understand all of what you feel & fear, my soul says I will stand with you, by you, wherever you need me to be. Sending you hugs & some deep breaths (that I keep taking to try to calm down.)
Thank you for saying what I cannot find words for.
Thank you for reading
I see you. I hear you. I hurt for you. I am paying attention in a way I never have before.๐๐๐
Thank you
You have been my inspiration for a couple of years now. I will always Stand in the Gap. Take care of yourself.
Thank you
Thank you for sharing. Sadly, recent events have brought the plight of black people to the forefront, when it should have been obvious to the white-privileged (myself included), long long ago. I take responsibility for doing the work (education and action) to become anti-racist. I hope for change, world-wide.
Thank you
Hallo, Hallo GG,
Mum and I are avid watchers and listeners of your channel via YT; I’ve been trying to find you on Twitter for a bit over a year now and blessedly today I found you! ๐ I shared your tag #StandInTheGap in some tweets but more importantly I put it on my Profile. I loved how your message and your words resonated with something I’ve always have done – I use my voice when others would be quiet and I have always stood in the gap without realising that that is what I was doing. We all have to stand together to fight injustice and to speak out when we see something that is wrong; even no one else understands why we feel driven to speak, we have to find the words to use because of how much it matters to use our voice.
I know why you can’t knit – you didn’t have to explain… your knitting is a part of your soul and your spirit energy – how can you knit if your soul is hurting and grieving? Sending a lot of hugs and support from a Mum and daughter who love your vlog and want to thank you for sharing your life with all of us who find you.
Thank you so much โ๐พ
I hear you.
Thank you for reading
I am awake now. Listening. Reading. Standing In The Gap (thank you for this). You are beautiful.
Thank you for reading and your kind words
GG, thank you for this. You’re right. We’re witnessing the unmistakable rawness of what a history of choices has wrought, and it’s impossible to knit–even to sit still–when our attention, our time, our energy, and our treasure are so obviously needed in the movement for Black lives. Thank you for opening this conversation here. Knitting can wait while we hold space for the grieving, lift up the voices of the anguished, and do what we can to dismantle policies and systems that hinder, harm, dehumanize, and kill people. We hear you.
Thank you for listening and reading
40 years ago, my former husband and I bought a house in a neighborhood that was described as “Bad”. There was nothing bad about it. As two know nothing white young adults, we were embraced and cared for. My neighbors were quiet and our homes were neat and tidy. The old men sitting in lawn chairs helped me with my garden and I tried not to disappoint them. Right now, white people need to listen. The tired messages like, “all lives matter” need to be silent. Police procedures must be reformed, prisons must not be for profit, the criminal justice department needs a going over. I wish the old men in lawn chairs were still around to help me through these times. Their wisdom is needed.
Thank you for sharing that with me!
Thank you for the post.
Important words that need to be read.
I am sending donations to community organizations here in Toronto. Sending emails to my elected representatives.
Canada can not be complacent about racism,
Thank you so much!
GG, Iโm with you.
๐๐พ
Iโm sad that you cannot find comfort in knitting. I sincerely hope this IS a time of fundamental change. I am an old introverted white woman but I hear your pain. I am trying to understand. Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing your grief. Thank you for educating me.
Thank you for being willing to listen
Iโm following you. Iโm learning from you. Thank you my beautiful lady in orange. Iโm sharing your messages. And, it turns out to be very interesting conversation. Like me before, a previledged white person โthoughtโ she knew. Ha!!!!!!! Weโve been living in our society with blind eyes, and silent ears. Iโm learning to stand in the gap because of you and my other black friends. Iโm listening So, when a similar white person saids all lives matter or how she is beiing discrimanated against for being american in a european country. I say, read this and educate yourself. Iโm sharing and spreading your teachings to stand in the gap. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I would just love to squeeze the ever lovinโ dickens out of you!!! Peace, hope and harmony.
GG. My heart is breaking for you. Itโs breaking for black people everywhere who have to live this life of the most horrendous bullying (seems such an inconsequential word….) and still be expected to stay strong. Well, Iโm here, Iโm reading, listening, learning and trying to do better every day. Iโll stand in the Gap for you, Iโll be a shoulder to lean on if you need to rest, and I am doing everything I can to Make. This. Change.
It has to change.
(Iโve been reported and shadowbanned on IG so canโt do any posting on there at the moment….not helpful at all)
Snowythistleknits
Thank you!
Oh, Gaye, I am holding you in my heart. I “knew you when”, and I ache for you now.
Can you receive links here?
Margaret aka Peggy Alexander
Yes I can
Are you familiar with Melanie Damore? She was here a while back, with our World House Choir.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpMW8-Nx4T0 — all the way through. And there’s more. Glad to find the “more”.
Maybe you already know her.
I donโt but I will check her out
I hope real change happens soon, and you can stop hurting and find joy in knitting again soon. I promise to work hard on making sure the change happens.
Thank you
Dear GG, my heart breaks to read how you have been coping (or not). I am so, so sorry. I am a retired hs teacher in an urban area of LA. I read and see postings from my former students, praying to God they and their families are spared this nightmare. Then I watch Van Jones and Elmo and start sobbing. Many of us are raw.
So I say to you, keep clicking those needles as a productive testament to too many lives lost, counting back to Emmitt Till and the countless others who met their fate by L. May the Lord keep you and those closest to you. Sincerely, Veronica Bennett
Thank you! I have been trying each night to get back to it.
I am with you. I haven’t touched my knitting in days because atm it doesn’t give me the solace it usually gives.
Because I am angry, I am furious that people are still being killed because they aren’t white. I am so angry at people who sit comfortable on their white arses who just don’t get. I wouldn’t to live all my life in fear of being killed just because I look different.
I can emphasise because me and my husband are white, but disabled and we are just useless trash to the privileged. I spent most of 2018/19 scared because I didn’t know what would happen with my husband. If he would get the support he deserved or not. I had several nervous breakdowns. But this was just 2 years of my life totally messed up. It can only be hell on earth if you have to feel this way from the day you are born until the day you die.
But still I do understand at least partially.
Thank you
I am knitting. Iโm knitting a baby blanket for my lovely black neighbour who is expecting in October. And with every stitch Iโm praying that the outpouring of emotion that we have seen in street protests all over the world will lead to a new dawn in which the inhuman treatment that our black brothers and sisters have had to endure through the ages and still today, will become no more than a terrible memory. We need an uprising and a lot of re education to achieve this. Thank you for sharing your pain. Your words are so valuable to us all. Iโm wondering . . . Could you knit in protest? Could we all do that? I knitted several sections of the pink blanket that protested against the renewal of The Trident nuclear submarine programme in the UK. I would definitely take part in something like that again
Sending my heartfelt wishes of peace to you. I can’t even imagine what you are feeling, but I want you to know that I am hoping for a better tomorrow, and promise I’ll work hard to be worthy.
I appreciate you!
I am standing in the gap! You are accepted in the fiber community. You have a powerful platform here on your blog as well as other social media outlets. You seem like a sensible person who people will listen to. Maybe God is calling to be the next Harriet or Rosa or Martin. Just a thought ๐ญ
Ha! Hardly but thank you for your kind words.
I am sure that is what they thought too when they first started out โค๏ธ
Thank You, GG, for being who you are…for being the Orange Lady…for being.
Thank you ๐ค
Thank you GG. Your blog post puts into words how I feel.
I am #standing in the gap
Thank you for reading and responding! I appreciate you!
Thank you for a very powerful message! I sew and like you, my world has been interrupted. I did not think I would see a bloack man killed and no one step forward and watch peoplel not step in because they knew they could possibly be in the same situation that George Floyd was in. I pray for those individuals that witnessed that on the street that day. I am sewing every day right now making masks for family members and friends, however, my “chatter box” continues to go nonstop! After every inspiring song or powerful message, my soul aches for a way I can implement change. I visualize myself saying something powerful, or writing letters to the editors, news station. One thing if quite evident to me, it can just start with me in my family circle, my dialogue with my neighbor, my giving to organizations who “out there” protesting, and VOTING ! I am 78 years old and I count. I have never witnessedd times like these but I am here for such a time as this. Change has to occur on all sides. Our black cullture has many self-defeating thoughts and ideas and I am going to help correct as many of them as I can. My grandchildren need an environment to grow. Bless you for your transparency in times where people need to hear honesty.
Thanks for reading ๐ฉ๐พโ๐ป๐๐งก so much. I truly appreciate you response