Natural Journey

I Finally Love My Curls | A Story About My Natural Journey

Facebook memories strike again. I am going to move away from knitting for this one ok? I want to talk about my hair. Yup you read that right, my hair, my crown of glory. I have shared with you that the shade of my skin was an issue when I was younger, already. If you weren’t light, you weren’t right. It’s sad, but I was taught to not like myself at an early age. As a black woman, my beauty was measured with White standards. So I failed the first big test which was the dark hue of my skin. The other was having long hair. I had that part as I have always had a healthy head of hair.

In my community, if you didn’t have long hair AND you were dark skinned…oh boy!! It didn’t matter how smart you were, having short hair was a curse. Because of this false narrative, my mother put a relaxer in my hair. I guess she was trying to protect me in her own way. I later learned that I was born with a head full of curls..so they were always there. Curls for a Black person was often referred to as Nappy, because our curls are very coily; therefore after the AFRO went out of style…straight was the thing.

Anyway, I said all this to say, when I decided to stop relaxing my hair and allowing my natural curls to flow, that was a major thing. I cut all my hair off and just started fresh. To a Black man, your hair is everything, but I did anyway, because this was me taking control of MY story. Like the song says, I am not my hair. My grandfather was probably turning over in his grave. I remember calling my mom, because someone showed her a picture before I could go see her. She was crying and I instantly went on defense. She went on to say she was crying because I looked exactly as I did when I was born. That was 11 years ago.

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What I have learned in 11 years

I have learned so much about my hair and the connection to my self esteem. I will admit, that is when I started falling in love with me. I was no longer hiding behind hair, because I didn’t have much in the beginning. I was no longer worried about the rain or getting in the water…my curls actually loves the water. I also learned after spending a ton of money on products, LOL. my hair just needed a good leave in conditioner. My favorite is Koils By Nature. I have tried TONS of other products and I still do, occasionally, but KBN is my tried and true.

I was free, finally, that is until society pulled out it’s ruler again. Folks have said my hair wasn’t professional. My hair has been called wild. I have had folks, usually White, put their hands in my hair, uninvited. (that only happened once) All because it was different. It wasn’t their version of beauty it was my own.

Over these 11 years I learned, I am pretty..not the hair, the makeup or the earrings. They enhance ME! It was a long lesson but I finally learned and I love every spirally curl in my scalp. Here is yet another example of me being intentionally me…on purpose. Don’t forget, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

NOTE: this is also why my logo was created. I am a Black, Natural Knitter and I am proud.

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I only share about companies that I truly believe 

As always thanks for reading. Did you grab a copy of Sistah Knit yet? I am thinking of having a Zoom reading party. So grab it and get to reading. Also make sure you are on the email list because the pins are released there first. Wizard Pins said I should have soon.

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Be Intentional..do it on purpose
HAVE A FABULOUS DAY

Gaye G

17 thoughts on “I Finally Love My Curls | A Story About My Natural Journey”

  1. Oh Gigi, I was raised in β€œwhite” Utah. I am so thankful that I spent some early years in Hawaii and 2 in Boston. I am also thankful I was raised by parents that taught me to be kind, accepting, and all people are children of God.
    I have always loved you. Your skin is so beautiful, it shines and is smooth in all the right ways. I shutter at what people say and do to black people and all kinds of people. As far as curly hair… I had perms to get my strait thin hair look to look different from greasy, strait , extremely thin hair. The perms hurt and smelled for weeks.
    I am so happy we can both be natural.. you inspire and amaze me. My life has been much easier than yours , yet you lift me up everyday and encourage me. Always be you. YOU are wonderful.

  2. GiGi, I too grew up with the “good hair,Bad hair” thing; plus, no matter what I did, my hair just would not grow long. My Mom had long hair, my sister had long hair…. such trauma – over hair!
    One day I just stopped trying. I cut it all off. I have never looked back. I have a short cap of natural curls (with covid- I even stopped dying it) I’m finally free! never going back to all that worry and aggravation again. Good on you for finding your own freedom.

    1. Yes my aunt, we are the same age, was the exact opposite of me. She was as light as I was dark and had hair down her back. Literally ughhhhh
      Thanks for reading πŸ‘©πŸΎβ€πŸ’»πŸ˜ŠπŸ§‘ and sharing

  3. LOVE LOVE LOVE your hair and love that you have embraced your curls and doing so means they both do and don’t define you in the best of ways. I think the stigma that has been projected onto Black hair (good hair, bad hair, professionalism etc) has, to a a great extent, been generalized to include all ethnic groups whose hair tends to be textured. I have VERY CURLY HAIR and hated it so much growing up: battled with it, straightened it, avoided contact with water, and finally at some point made my peace and learned to love it, to make it a trademark despite also being told it was “not professional.” Still, I went through YEARS of terrible stylists. Years of bad cuts (let’s not talk about the asymmetrical ‘do or the Q-tip phase…). And SO much money on product. SO much money (note: will try KBN–I am currently into Verb and sometimes Innersense). People touch my hair, too, (it used to especially be an issue on the subway when I lived in NYC–LIKE I COULDN’T FEEL IT) and I hate it, but recognize the sense of violation would be exponentially greater if I were a Black woman being touched by white hands. It’s outrageous. Finally: I think it’s really important for our girls that we role model natural curls as a form of self-love. My daughter’s hair is less curly than mine but she still has plenty of ringlets and I want her to adore them! Sorry to go on for so long but I am PASSIONATE about loving our curls!

  4. Your hair is beautiful! Your hair is gorgeous in all the pics, but I truly love your curls the most. It’s so refreshing to be able to make peace with your body and hair. Thank you for telling your story. (All of it.. not just this post!) I can’t even imagine someone putting their hands in my hair uninvited. Ick. That is a serious violation.

    It’s amazing how much worth society places on how our hair looks. Because of white beauty standards, my hair was always “fine,” but I cut it really short in middle school and THAT was completely unacceptable. Don’t even get me started on going gray.

  5. GG, I just love you! First, I am as white a girl as you can get! My skin color is mayonnaise!! With that being said, I have a granddaughter that is half black. Unfortunately, her father does not encourage her to learn about her beautiful culture. My daughter and I struggle with teaching her, but, we’re white. Who do we think we are?! Evie is 11 and has long curly hair that I just cannot get enough of! I call it her “beautiful nappy hair”. It’s so squishy and wonderful. Her mom is a hair-dresser and is teaching her to care for it. I would love some insight on the best way to approach things with the black kid raised in a white world – literally!

    1. I wish I had the answer. I will say this β€œnappy” has never been a good word for us. Evil beautiful curly hair. Be conscious of words that are used for the sole purpose of harming her.

  6. I think you are absolutely beautiful, I also think most people when they relax into themselves and who they are generally are the better for it πŸ™‚ When I was young my mother was always smacking my head trying to “bring our the natural wave” only my mousey coloured curls were never QUITE to her liking, not quite this way or that way or just any way she wanted. She used to haul me off to the hair dressers for a Mia Farrow type hair cut that made me look like Id been given a crew cut, my sister had long chestnut pigtails – how I wanted THEM, years later my sister always said she wanted my hair – neither of us felt we owned our hair or ourselves as beings until well into our teens. Its sad what impact we can have on people – Im sure my mother had no idea her effects were so negative, and she was just doing what she was doing… Anyway you are gorgeous and wonderful, and long may you be exactly who you wish to be πŸ™‚

  7. Jennifer in Santa Cruz

    Hi GG, I think your curls are sooo beautiful. I have never understood the bias against natural black hair as I have always loved it. When I was a child I wanted my hair to be like that so much instead of the fine, limp, straight stuff I have. It seems everyone always wants the hair they don’t have. I, too, have had (am still trying?) to make peace with my hair. Thank you for sharing your journey!

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