I have come to realize that all of the dark feelings that I have about myself stemmed from my childhood. As a result, I have decided to write a letter to little me. If I could I would go back and hold me tight. Obviously, I can not, so this letter I will write.
Dear Gaye Gaye,
I know you didn’t think you were worthy. I know you thought you were ugly. These beliefs were not your own, yet you claimed them as gospel. Another thing I know is you were afraid of what your future would hold. You allowed fear to make decisions, to drive your behavior and tolerance. Because you thought you were less than, you were afraid to say when something hurt you. As a result folks that didn’t deserve access, gained it for free.
I am writing this letter to tell you to keep going. This letter is to tell you that although I (the grown up version) have faced obstacles, I am ok. We are ok. Your feelings impact me in every thing I do. This letter is to help us both get rid of those negative thoughts that were given to us. I say let’s recycle them for something good. You are not ugly. There is nothing wrong with your skin color. You are worthy and more than enough
My Promise
To you, Gaye Gaye, I offer this promise. I promise to stop trying to force people to love me. My only job is to be the best version of me/us. I will no longer try to fit where I am not wanted. I will build/create my own space. This letter is a result of the time I have spent in therapy. It is there that I realized, you were still in pain….56 years later.
Yes we made it to 56. We have stumbled a few times and we have had some awesome triumphs too! The point is even though the world at large, tried to drown our light…even with tears in my/our eyes…we still shine.
NOTE: to the reader, if you made it this far, thank you for reading. Also there is nothing wrong with talking to yourself, which is what is happening in this blog.😛
Now complete this message to Little Gaye by seeing her in your mind’s eye and giving her a big warm loving Hug… This will complete the circle of healing.
Well done….
Thank you Yvonne for reading. I tell her I love her daily…
What a lovely and healing thing to do. There was a period in my life when I did a lot of talking to the little girl inside me who was so afraid of failing, not being Enough, fearful that I’d make a dreadful mistake and fearful I’d be found out. So much fear! It really helped for me to imagine hugging that scared little girl and telling her it would all turn out all right, if I could keep facing the fears and being honest and truthful with myself and others. I seldom have to do that any more. It really did turn out all right. (Secret: part of what made it turn out all right was my practice of reassuring her that it would. Kind of a strange circular effect. Whatever works!) Hugs to you GG. You’re beautiful.
Thanks for sharing and I am working on it!
Wow—I needed to write this letter to younger self. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for reading
You were a very cute little girl. Stay strong!
When I look back now, I say the same thing. I didn’t feel that way coming up. I faked it..a LOT! Thanks for responding
Shine on, sweet lady! 🥰
Thank you I am trying
Oh GG. You brought tears to my eyes!
I hope they were good tears. I would never want to make anyone sad. Thanks for reading
I would describe them as bittersweet.
Thank you for reading and responding
I love it! I apologized to the younger me on my blog last week. It was so freeing. Love you GG 😍
If we knew then what we know now..right? Love you!
I’m sending that letter to my “little me” too. Thank you. All said perfectly.
Thank you, it felt good to get that out!
Thank you for sharing your letter to your younger self. It is beautiful. 🧡 I am sorting through those negative feelings from childhood that left me feeling “less than.” I feel blessed to have perspective on it, now. I appreciate this post so much! On the subject of appreciation. I did want to share this with you. Back when you had your original WordPress blog, your posts helped me get through the last 2 years of my Dad’s life. You spoke so openly about your loss and what is was like for you. Your words were like a light, on the path ahead, letting me know it would be tough but I would be okay.
Thank you for all you do and for sharing. 🧡
Hugs!! as there is nothing like losing a parent. Thanks for reading and being here with me
You are and always were beautiful. I hope you can embrace it now. You bring so much light into our dark world. Thank you
Thank you! I am working on knowing that in my heart!
Isn’t it wonderful to be comfortable in your own skin. I applaud your efforts to make that happen.
Thank you for your kind words and for reading
Blessings for Little and Big GG!
Thank you!!
You are being so good to past you. You both deserve peace and love ❤️. Never too late to reconnect and become more whole. Inspiring!
Thank you for reading and the kind words
Beautifully written GG. I felt it straight from your heart. At 61, I too have begun to heal that little girl. Your strength is such a power of example. I am VERY happy you do what you do – YOU!
Thank you Sheila!!
Thank you for sharing this — that little girl grew up into a person who inspires me with her talents, her enthusiasm, her joy, her outlook on life. I love your idea of writing a letter to your younger self. Another part of the circle is taking time to really see the little girls around us, to listen to them, to acknowlege their worth, to look out for them, to let them be who they are meant to be. Mostly listening and seeing. I am working on this, reminding myself not to rush through encounters…
Yes, I started with my own little girl. I was/am determined that she knows her worth. Thanks for reading and responding.
🧡🧡🧡🧡💯🙏🏼🙏🏼keep going ma’am! Love this, love you, mean it xx
Love you!
This is beautiful, GG! And so important to do for ourselves. As the 5th of 6 children of an alcoholic, I grew up being silly. Being told to grow up; to act my age. My silliness diffused tense situations, but has followed me into adulthood, and isn’t amusing to most adults. But it was my coping mechanism for most of my 55 years.
Keep doing the hard work. I’m still working through it myself.
☮️❤️🧡
Thank you so much for sharing 🙏🏾
Oh, that picture of little you is so cute! I wish I could give her a hug, too. Also, I talk to myself ALL the time, nothing wrong with that!
Lol thank you for reading and responding
Thank you for sharing. It’s so hard to know we are worthy. Good for you for taking care of yourself. Wishing you peace and comfort.
Thank you
🧡🧡
It’s a blessing that we’re able to go back and tell our younger selves the truth: you were beautiful and enough. I have always hated having my picture taken because I cringed when I looked at them. Now, I look at them and see a perfectly lovely, if a little awkward around age 12-13, child and young woman. And, while I may have been socially awkward in groups and school, I had good friends. A much richer, longer lasting blessing than general popularity. And I was creative and curious, even though I was anxious. The skills and talents I began to develop as a child have been the source of much pleasure and creativity and intellectual growth all my life. This probably sounds a little stilted, but I’m still a little self-conscious about being positive about myself. And I’m 65. I am so happy for everyone who learns and knows these things much earlier in their lives. Thank you for sharing yourself with us!
Thank you for reading and responding 🥰
Thanks so much for your post and for sharing these photos!
It’s so true, how did we let others limit us so much?
Really enjoy your blog and Instagram posts. You make a difference!
Keep well
Lisa in Toronto
This is lovely- you are one of my heroes. Bless you!
Thank you!!
Thank you so much for sharing! I will be sitting with my thoughts for quite some time as I consider what I would share with my younger self. I know my first words will be “We made it out!” Thank you for your encouragement. I hope that your younger self feels the safety and joy that awaits and begins to know just how amazing you became/will keep becoming! You are beautiful!